幸福和快乐,谁能给?

心里一直觉得好不安.

其实, 我没资格去这么的想那么多. 也跟不应该把这些事情放在心上. 可是每一次都失败了.

算了, 想这么多也没有用. 因为到头来, 开心不开心全都靠自己. 谁能给你快乐和幸福呢? 只有自己才能.

I give up typing in Chinese. I hope don't have any mistakes ah. I think typing in Chinese can really bring out the feeling more to the post. But ya I failed because I have to think very hard for the next word. I can speak Chinese well but you ask me to type and write, no way. Hehe but I still chose to because like I said, got more feel~

Own thoughts

I love it when I managed to sort things out myself. Me so proud!

Although yesterday was a disaster, but everything's fine now! Well, I assumed. It was a roller-coaster ride last evening. My heart sank 3 times and my whole body feels numb, breathless and my mind is blank. Was doing my HR tutorials when it all happened. :(

Well, although the matter is not solved yet but I'm sure it's gonna be fine. Somehow somewhat, it will. I always believe that things can eventually be solved if you put in effort and determination into it. Giving up and ignoring things won't help. The same old problem might just arise again in the future. Why not just get it over and done with and move on right?

开心和幸福的感觉是自己珍取的.

I don't know if my chinese words are correct but ya. It sound the same anyway.

To me, dwelling in problems is just wasting my time.

I love to see, feel and succumb myself into beautiful things. This is what it is worth it. Cuz it simply makes me happy.

Emphatic

The important thing is not just sympathizing with or pitying others, but really understanding what they are going through. Empathy is crucial. Sometimes just having someone who really understands can give us the strength to go on. ~Ikeda

I'm not supposed to blog. If anything were to happen, I am to blame.

I need somewhere that I can rant. But where?

Things that made me think

Am I supposed to be alone?
Am I supposed to believe whatever you said?
Am I supposed to feel this way?
Am I supposed to not care about anything?
Am I supposed to live my life the way as it is?

Just some random thoughts that kept me thinking.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Stress

So many projects on hand that is incomplete or worst off, not started. Good game Jen. You're gonna be so dead meat. The individual assignment shouldn't be a problem because there are no restrictions and you write whatever you want in your own report. Sigh.

Anyway, other than projects.. I'm stressing over my weight. :( I don't understand why my weight can shoot up that fast! Like omg. The weirdest thing is, I still can wear my previously bought clothes.. The jeans I bought 4 years back, I still can wear! But why is my weight increasing and increasing?! I don't understand. Seriously. Feeling damn fucked up about it. Seriously I think that there is something wrong with me. How can I still be able to fit into my clothes when my weight kept on increasing? Weird... Feeling damn depwess :( Save me. Sigh.

And I just ate tiptop curry puffs that my bro bought and now I feel like vomiting. Like seriously.. Cannot resist temptations. And for the whole of today, I ate half of the sandwich, one cup of Mr Bean soya milk, coffee with biscuits and that bloody curry puff.

And Ben and I decided to invest in bicycles and both of us is gonna cycle here and there, there and here. To the gym, to Jalan Kayu for prata, to lower seletar airbase, to lower/upper seletar. Basically, everywhere that can be cycled to, we do it. Can't freaking wait. :D

I guess, this is the only happiest thing this week. :(

& I'm missing him so much. Why? We met just yesterday.

& I must be glad that Ben still love me just the way I am. His encouragement really made me have the determination! Super determined to get back to my original weight. Super. Its a challenge for me. I can do it!

Bye.

Colors on my eyes

Remember I was saying about my make up on Friday that I love it so much that I wanna share with you girls? Hehehehe! So here I am!

Alright, before I apply my foundation or any make up on my face. I will always...

1. Cleanse my face. Then tap dry.
2. Tone my face.
3. Moisturize. (Sometimes I'll skip the moisturzing step cuz if I use liquid foundation, I want it to have a glowing effect and not an oily effect.)

For me, I am using both compact powder and liquid foundation. Of course I don't use it both together la! Crazy! Sometimes compact and sometimes liquid. Hee! Its up to your choice to see which one do you prefer. :) I like both. If I want it to be quick, I'll use compact. If I've got all the time in the world, I'll use liquid!

Okay, so after your face make up.. Here comes the eye! I don't use primer for my eye because my eyeshadows don't fade. If you've got oily lids, it will be necessary for you to use eye primer so that the colors stay longer! 

1. Highlight your brow bone.
2. Tap light colors all over your lids. (I'll usually use shades of brown)
3. Choose something darker to define your eyes. Swipe it to and fro on the crease. Then slowly fade out. Blend it well if not you'll look damn funny! LOL!
4. Choose something bright or dark for the outer corner of your eyes. (Bright to make it look refreshing and dark to have a smokey effect!)
5. Choose white, silver or golden shimmery eye shadows for your inner corners.
6. Apply your fav eye liner! (Mine was Maybelline's gel eyeliner!)
7. AND Mascara. (I usually skip this step cuz super lazy!!)

Here are the colors for my eye make up!

My blusher!

White color to highlight your brow bone.

Brown all over the lids.

Golden brown for the crease.

Electric blue for my outer corner! And silver for my inner! 

Brushes I used for make it happen! 

YAY!

The reason why it appeared smokey for my outer corner is because my sister is damn lazy to clean the brushes after EVERY USAGE. And she looooooooove to use dark colors. I have to clean it for her before I can use. Sometimes very angry one lor! Cursing while cleaning. 

Oh ya, in the center of your lids, put some shimmery colors to make your eyes look brighter! 

Thats all I think. I hope I did not miss out anything. :X Oh yahh.. I don't put on fake lashes reason being because its a hassle and once you stop putting fake lashes, you'll look so pale!! So once in a while can put la.. But don't everyday put. One day you never put it will be a very big difference!! 

Okay, I think that's all. Sorry if you don't understand what I meant. :( 

Oh yeah, just in case you guys always think that I always post pictures of me with make up on and whatnots.  Here is two with NO make up on and my just wake up oily face and greasy hair. HEHEHE!

Don't say I like to act swee and appear swee swee on photos hor. Sometimes I go out I also don't put make up liao. AHAHAHAH! Okay la, does the big eye contact lens considered make up? 

BYE!

Ben's 21st Bday at Kbox (part 4)

Yesterday went for a mini celebration with Ben and his friends for some gatherings and his belated birthday. :D Ditched our plan on dining at either Meltz or Carousel. Went kbox instead for their dinner buffet + singing session!

"BABY OPEN YOUR EYES LEH"

His eyes wide open and me with the exact same expression. -.-

Wrong and awkward angle! Makemy face so huge! And me trying very hard to take picture of us and squeeze myself in! Lol!! *excuses*

-THE END-

For the past few days, I've been putting on lots of make up and its seriously killing me!!! I hate, I repeat.. I HATE to remove make up everytime! I find that its a chore to remove it. And you cannot just wash it away with just water! You have to use make up remover, cotton pad and whatever shits that is used to remove! I can stand in front of the mirror for 20 minutes to fully remove my make up. Now you know.. Why I dread it so much! 

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE to make up. I love to experiment new tutorials and using the eyeshadows to "color" my eyes. I love it! The satisfaction was enough to kill me. Hahahaha! Its just the aftermath of removing it dreads me. :(

Anyway I love my eye make up yesterday!

I'll blog the colors I used in the next post! The maroon brown can't really be seen from this picture! 

You guys should really await for the next post! Hehehehehe! I'll blog what I used and how I do my make up. Although me not a professional and my make ups are all learnt by some youtubers.. I am willing to share! Because sometimes, Caucasians and Asians eyes are different. So what the Caucasians wear for their make up might not be suitable for us Asians! And also, our eyes and double eyelids ah.. A bit smaller and less deep than theirs. Hhahahaha! 

Alright, take care everyone and enjoy your weekends! 

And lastly, it was a hell lots of fun this week!!! Ben and I really enjoy ourselves a lot! 

Tschus! 

Ben's 21st Birthday Part 3

Part 1 and Part 2 here!

So it was a good night sleep till my alarm rang at 5.15am!! Was supposed to wake up and change and up we go to the skypark to watch sunrise. Since skypark pool access is open from 6am to 11pm! And yeah, Ben went to draw the curtain and we both went back to sleep with the snooze of the alarm in between. I didn't really get back to sleep because I was pretty scared. Cuz Ben offed the tv!!! :( Changed sides with him and off I went to my lala land till my tutor called! >:( To ask me to go back school the next day for my German assesment!

So I woke up, washed up, clear the mess (potato chips and all), wash my bikini (ahahahaha ya damn dirty). pack my stuffs and make tea/coffee for the both of us. Woke him up and we had our "breakfast" together on the bed. Hehehehehe!!

Swissbake smoked salmon! Damn freaking yummy!

Then we had to check out by 11am.

Took a cab to ION and had some drinks. Window shopped around. Went to Fossil to find his watch and its already sold out. :( Went to some watch shop where they sell all sorts of brands and hell yeah they have the watch that Ben wants!!! :D Went to Taka bought stuffs for mom and dad. AND HSH!!!! Was really really tired!

Both our watches. Mine was bought 2 months back! Hehe

If I'm not wrong its the last piece already! Fossil only bring in a few pieces of the design and all Fossil outlets is already OOS! If it was really the last piece, Ben is really damn lucky!

So he was really a happy boy on the 3rd day!

Stay tunee for part 4 and its gonna be done!

Ben's Bday at Marina Bay Sands Hotel (Part 2)

Just in case you guys have not read Part 1 of Ben's birthday celebration! Go read now! :D

Woke up at around 10+am and went downstairs for breakfast! Back to his place and we started packing and getting all ready to head down to MBS Hotel! Initial plan was to be out of the house at 1330 and reach there by 1430 by train! But you know, I don't know what the hell were we doing and at 1345 we are still at home!!! Kan jiong like anything because we're scared that the check in queue is gonna be damn long!! So we decided to take a cab and all cabs are changing shift and we waited for 15 minutes for a damn bloody cab! And my bag is so damn heavy!!!!

Finally on the cab!! Very nice weather that day! Hehehhehe!

His Ray Ban sunglasses from his dad. 

The cab uncle dropped us at The Shoppes! Have to cross the road to reach Tower 1! And yeah, while waiting for the green man, it was like we are at another dimension. You will never thought that Singapore can be that boootiful! I think everyone is sort of dying to stay there for an experience. 

Reached the lobby and WHAAATT?!?! The queue damn long can and we managed to reach there by 1430! :( But its okay, they served champagne and water for you while you're queuing for the long long queue. Wait and wait and wait.. Finally its out turn. The receptionist was trying to strike a conversation with Ben about NS and all. LOL, yeah good try dude to make your service remarkable! And they asked for our IC! Like why?!?! Yeah, I think it was to verify that you're 21 years old coz... Their tv system got porn videos ah~ Hahahahahahahahaha! And the names of the porn was like damn funny la. Deep throat, woman something one la. All sorts of nonsensical titles! LOL!!

Finally gotten the keycard to our hotel and.... We're ONLY STAYING AT THE 8TH FLOOR!!!! :( Out of the 57th floor, we're only at the 8th! Please lor, for my 21 years of my life I'm living on the 11th! I'm staying higher than the stay at MBS hotel okay!! Damn disappointed! We paid 300 for it and we see only some stupid ongoing construction of the tree dining shit and the highway! Was damn bloody upset and angry till.....

We saw the room and we went.. "WAAAAAA WOOOOOHH WOW!" 

Then we look to the left and there's the toilet and I shouted "BABY GOT BATHTUB LEH!!!!". 

The toilet is really really beautiful!! Sliding door, 2 sinks, enough toilet amenities and very good lighting to camwhore! HAHAHA! The room was okay only, not really fantastic as you can expect other hotels to have a similar interior too! But.. The bed was really really comfortable!! That is what makes me happier by 50% la. Hahahahaha! (Forgot take picture of the toilet! :( )

He look nice here. Hehe, I take nice pictures!

The empty balcony with no lightings and the super "swee" landscape ah. You can hear really "nice" music and "grrrong gong gong tong behhhhhhh boom".

The very cute and clean bathtub! Lol!! FYI, I never use hotel's bathtub because sometimes they look dirty and has some yellowish thingy and look super disgusting! But for this, I dip inside for about 30 minutes with my beer! Sb enjoy life! Hahahaa.

The very disturbing wiring thingy. Everytime I look at it, everytime I get goosebumps.

So we decided to go "explore" the building! Hahahaha! Feeling a little hungry so we walked to the Foodcourt to have some small bites! He order his mixed rice and I had sandwich with Mocha Frappe! I tell you, the mixed rice stall the food damn yummy can! Their curry is damn good! But very expensive ah. 7bucks for 3 dishes. 

Then up we go to the skypark to see the day view! Hehehehe. Nothing fantastic and damn humid! I don't understand why is it so humid lor! Up to the 57th, should be damn windy! I tell you ah, no wind at all. Good job! I don't know how did they managed to block the wind!!! Not a very nice experience because I am expecting my hair to be damn messy and I wanna enjoy the breeze at the top of the 57th floor! >:(

Overlooking at Marina Barrage!

After this picture, got one very nice Caucasian lady came up to us and offered to help us take a picture! Hehe. SO SWEET! 

Got super scared. Super afraid of heights.If I go near to the glass, my whole leg become jelly! I tell you ah I die must take picture like many others! So I brave up and quickly took a picture before running back to the centre of the observation deck!! Notice, my hair is still very neat! SO NO WIND! >:(

Back to the hotel room. Can't stand the heat!

Stupid fridge.

Don't take your drinks nevermind, but they don't even let us put our own drinks in! Damn li hai! Very well stock up to prevent us from putting our own drinks in! 

His family came over.

Waiting for his dad...

Finally back to Skypark for the night view!! 

VERY NICE! But still NO WIND. Damn angry okay! WHY NO WIND! Night time leh!!!! 

Quickly went to have our dinner then we practically ran back to the hotel room, change and take the stupid lift and dip in the pool! Hiak hiak hiak. Nothing fantastic. We dip for like about 30 minutes then we went back to our hotel to dip in our small little bathtub! Hhaahahaha!

Ben take my picture until so ugly!! KNS.

You see I take one so chio! Can see background one.

Very nice color! Hehehehe anyway the bath foam is provided! 2 bottles some more!

The highway in the night. I think this picture quite nice. Heheh!

And we retire for the night with the curtains drawn, lights ALL on and tv on. HAHAHAHA!

Sorry hor I scared to stay in hotel one. So everything MUST BE ON! 

End of the first day at Marina Bay Sands hotel!