Future

I want us to have a better future.
I want us to be able to lead a life of a semi rich.
I want us not fret about money issues.
I want the both of us to always bear the practicality thought on our mind.
I want us not to be some stuck up people who won't help.

I just want the better of the both of us. I'm planning I'm planning. I dislike people to ruin my plans which I set out for the both of us. Like come on.. Who's living in our future?

Us.

I really wanna set out all the plans I planned and make it cone true. But why is everyone trying to ruin it? :( it's not like i didn't thought of what you guys said. I did. But what makes you think that he will be happy? What makes u think that it will make him succeed?

If you are 101% certain, I'm fine. If you're not, just let him make a practical decision will ya?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Guten tag!

TESTS ARE COMING AND I AM GONNA BE DEAD. 

I feel stupid. Really. 

I don't understand a single thing and I am feeling so lazy to study the tests. :(

Don't care already, I will do my best. 

I can't wait to graduate. 

Getting back on track

I went for the weekly department meeting today. It was great. The chanting was awesome.. It was as though many thoughts (which I chose not to say) had all been relieved through chanting.

I wanted to share my experience with the people. But.. I don't have the courage to speak up. Sigh.

It's late I have to turn in now. Bloody work tomorrow.

Gute nacht!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Some faith

I've already lost track on so many stuffs. This one in particular that I should not be losing focus nor losing faith.

I cannot remember since when was the last time I chanted. Maybe 1 month back I chanted for my Sis to get into her lifelong dream - an air stewardess. You know, at her age, it will be so difficult to actually pass the first round. But voila! I chanted for her and yes, she got in. The power of sincerity and faith. Yes. I am in no position to comment on this because I haven't been chanting lately. I feel bad. Serious.

Gohonzon has always been helping me to tide through my difficult times few years back. The promises I made has yet to be accomplished. And yet, Gohonzon continue to help me time and time again. I don't know how to show my appreciation towards Gohonzon.

All I know, it helped me a lot and thank you is never enough.

IF you practice faith yet have an attitude of complain, you will destroy your good fortune in direct proportion. Those who are full of complain are not respected by others. From both Buddhist and secular perspectives, their behaviour does not befit a wise or “worthy” person. Everything is determined by oneself, by one’s ichinen, or inner resolution.

I will always keep that in mind.

Sensitive skin

HELLO EVERYBADEH!

I've got make up classes tomorrow and I don't wanna go! :( BY RIGHT AND BY LEFT, I've got no school on Friday. Just because it was Vesak day and they had to push it to Friday for tutorial classes! 2 somemore! 12pm to 5pm some more!

Anyway, I wanna talk about my skin. Yeap that's right. I've been crazily talking about my skin now and then. Can't help it.

I wanna die please. Last week I went to the doctor because my eyes were swollen and itching, my whole body got patches of rashes and it itches the hell out of me. Dr gave me some pills and the pills were supposedly to be finished. But I did not finish it partly is because I don't know where the hell I placed it.

Every now and then I will have these red patches of rashes on MY FACE (bloody idiotic), my neck, my tummy and sometimes MY ARMPIT. Imagine your armpit itchy like crazy!!! Really unbearable. Ben saw how itchy I was once. :( Tak boleh tahan okay!

The places where I circled and arrows pointing are the places that always have my rash. 

YES, I FUCKING HAD IT TODAY IN SCHOOL.

Everytime when I have it, I will be damn moody and itchy all over. Sometimes it even lead to some other areas which I don't wanna say much. Sigh.. What shall I do? I don't know. This only happened after I worked at Tang Tang. TELL ME HOW. 

I really don't know what to do man. :( Sigh.. 

Okay, that aside. You know, the wonder of flash....

Can... Almost.. Cover the flaws! HAHAHHAA!

AND....

..

..

..

..

..

..

THE POWER OF MAKE UP!!!! 

What to do with my sensitive skin! Don't tell me to go dermatologist! I not so rich ah. Sigh. Some times, I really think that make up is a woman's saviour. So hehe, guys, don't be shocked when your gf has a face like mine when she remove her make up! 

I'm not perfect and I have my flaws. 

FYI, my face still itch a little now. Not as bad as noon time. 

Ciao people. I hope someone can guide me through this. Thank you!

Changes

I stood in front of the mirror, stared at my reflection and wondered who am I. Nothing is what named after. Pieces of everything shattered, not bothering to pick up what's left behind.

I stared at the ceiling and thought to myself. How the hell did I end up here.

好累.

Fast5; Kiseki; Redhead

HELLO EVERYBADEH!

It was a good week this week except for the bloody weekends that I have to work and the swollen eyes I've got. Other than that, everything is superb! Although this week the time spent together with Ben is very little but somehow I enjoy being alone. Haha! Couple always meet will get sian one leh.

As usual, FRIDAY IS A NO SCHOOL DAY! Went town to catch Fast5! It is really good!!! I can't wait for F&F6 to come out. I think the story continues eh? Lol!! Anyway, it is really good and I caught it at Lido. First time there and well, so-so lor. Ben was like so happy to be lido. BUT! The screen is really huge. Bigger than the normal ones like GV. Can go try try ah. OH and their popcorn is really cheap lor. Sigh, makes me feel that GV popcorn is extremely overcharged. :( Me is a loyal fan of GV leh.. So disappointing..

Kiseki for dinner and it is like damn yummy! Affordable too! Eat till damn full and go home lao sai all out. Lol!

And now comes the part.... Where... I finally colored and trim my hair! Yippie yayyy!

I'm the redhead yo~

Didn't regret at all. Hehehehehe! And heh, look at my new watch! :P Love it lots. Used my hard earned money to buy! Heheheheh! 

And what makes me even happier is that I received compliments that my hair look good on me!! Mad happy cuz when I first saw my hair color at the salon my reaction was practically this O.O . Am stun. I think real life more red. Aiya, whatever la. I like it can liao and now my hair very difficult to maintain. :( Nvm! I will try my best to maintain it. Hehehehe! So I think for now.. I'll always keep red hair. Hahahahaha!

One thing that makes me damn upset was my lips were like becoming blacker and blacker lor.. :( I hate it. I know I know.. Don't tell me to stop. It's getting really difficult. Sigh. 

School tomorrow and it pretty much suck.

I miss my short short hair.

I've been keeping short hair ever since 2007. And as time goes by, I decided to keep long hair. Now I look back at my short hair pictures, I wanna cut it short again!! Omg, such dilemma. :(

My short hair last year during April/May.

Starting to get longer...

And longer with fringe..

Then I trimmed my hair and with bangs again..

And then my fringe GROW AGAIN!! With longer hair..

Till Dec/Jan period...

TILL NOW MY HAIR CANNOT MAINTAIN ALREADY LOR!

LIKE GRASS AND I VERY ANGRY! SO ITS TIME FOR ME TO CUT.

Really got the urge to cut my hair real short but haiya, Ben don't like it. He wants me to appear weak like those stupid long hair girls. Guys always got weird fetish one lah. Knn. Hais.. I wanna cut my hair like tomboy like that real short leh!!

SO!

Tomorrow me is gonna go down to my hairdresser and snippety snap my hair. Don't care liao. My hair sb cannot maintain and look so fugly liao lor. 

AND! I think those stupid people who comment on my blog are bots. VIRUS ONE. SO DONT CLICK!

FTW

FTW has officially become Fuck The Weather. Seriously, the weather is super fucked up these days and it made me effin' sick. It totally spare NO MERCY to us beings man. I can literally "melt" in this kinda weather. Fuck you sun, you deserve to be shot down and be a history from now on. 


Please, I beg, let the weather be cold tomorrow. Okay, no need to be cold but cooling will do. 


AND I WANNA RECOVER FAST!! I'm never this weak one lor. :( 


I wanna go shopping with Ben tomorrow one. :( Go search for his advance birthday present and look at my watch. No surprises for him this year since I always fail till cannot fail. Hopefully he will see something he likes and it will spare me the thinkings. Hahahaha. 


Oh yeah and HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY! Even though I always whine about what my mom did but I still love her. Don't know how to tell or show it to her but... Aiya. 


I need to rest. Rest as in watch my Parenthood dramamamamamama. 


Tschüs!


***


Did I mention that I am taking German language classes? YES I AM. Ich bin Frau Ng = I am Miss Ng! 


What else...


Hmmmm... Brain not working very well..


Oh!


Me super looking forward to Ben's birthday because it is gonna be a very special occasion! Tell you guys when 
the date is drawing nearer.

Nothing to do!

Reached home and I got nothing to do. So I snap snap snapity snap. Hahahahaha!

Anyway, there is something that I wanna share with you guys. Okay, the purpose of taking photos is.. there's a reason! 

Notice my skin's condition is super bad last year. Take a look!

Okay, that is my Sister. Pretty right! And fucking look my face's condition. Redness, acne and whatnot!! So depwessing. :( And I purposely put the picture big big for you guys to see how jia lat my face was last year! Sigh.. I look at it I feel damn sad for myself. How the fuck will I not even put any make up on and go out with that bloody hideous bare face?! 

Don't tell me I never take care of my face hor! I got leh!!!! I even went to buy those a bit more expensive products to use and knn bluff me. Also no cure one. Tried many other products but also no use. Mask my face also no use. PIMPLE CREAM ALSO NO USE!! EAT MEDICINE ALSO NO USE. :(

You tell me, depwess or not?! Totally lose hope for myself..

So... I decided to be a bit more hardworking. Cleanse, tone and moisturize my face every fucking day.. Remove dead skin from my skin using CURE twice weekly. Anyway, I didn't really mask my face because I fucking lazy. But I am waiting for Ben to bring me go buy the charcoal mask. Then I will do the mask as a weekly routine already.. 

I really wanna share what products I am using here but.. I know I very selfish cuz I know you read my blog. So I don't want to share. Close friends, please do ask me! I guarantee you it is damn bloody good! And after using that product.......

MY FACE GOT BETTER!! (pictures are clickable and zoomable! click to see my face clearly!)

Lim bei swear I did not do anything to both the picture nor did I use my camera's beauty shot!!!! And one more thing! I DID NOT PUT ANY FOUNDATION OR MAKE UP ON MY FACE EXCEPT EYE LINER. My make up face is like that one....

Like no difference like that also. AIYA, I NEVER PUT MAKE UP ON THE 2 SMALL PICTURES JIU DUI LIAO LA! HAHAHAHAHA!

I only adjust the contrast thingy only la. Not like someone edit her photos till face kan phua white like ghost and fake. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Eerhem.. My skin is not perfect yet!! And there is still slight redness.. But!! I only used the product for only 2 weeks! The 2nd usage and I can already see a slight difference already! Wa I tell you I am very happy okay!!! I will also very gud luck help Ben improve his skin's condition!

Now no need spend money on this stupid liar products already!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE! 

Growing up

I really wish not to grow up sometimes. It suck to be growing up and knowing how life is.. that stressful, that fucked up and that humans are the scariest living on Earth.

Been unhappy ever since school re-open. But well, I shan't dwell on it too much cuz things will get better each day, weeks or rather months.

I miss being a child. Being carefree. No fears of exams and failings.

Ask me, why so depress?

No idea. Life just suck too much sometimes that you don't even want to think/talk about it.

When I met Ben, everything seems to be perfect and I can't find means and ways to tell him how sucky it was. But when he's gone, my mind drifted away and I shut myself up and dwell into things that never existed. Maybe it was just something called 'think too much'.

Maybe, maybe. No one ever knows cuz no one even care.

Gonna work extra hard this semester.

Its a promise.