Faith

Time and time again, I've neglected my faith, doubted my faith and had securities issues about my faith. And yet, time and time again, my faith forgive me, helped me and most importantly guided me.

I feel bad.

I need the adrenaline rush. I need to talk to somebody. I feel that I am slowly fading away from it.

사진

My passion to love you, increases each day,

Like a shining bright star, I wish to display.

You bring me happiness, with all those kind deeds,

Making me laugh, always succeeds.

When we are together smiles prevail,

Around every corner, there’s always a tale.

Our bond is strong and surely unique,

Special and rare, like an infinite peak.

As I look in your eyes, I learn about love,

Gratitude lifts me to the heavens above.

My life is beautiful with you by my side,

Hope and love I shall always provide.

by Martin Dejnicki

p/s I've put back my comment box! Just for fun. Lets see! Hehehehe

My baby

I've got the weirdest dog on Earth. He isn't very affectionate, has weird habits, don't pee/poop in front of people, timid yet wants to bark, weirdest toy fetish, eats fish, scared of lightning and thunder, afraid of my dad, very whiny, loves strawberry flavor treats, don't like soft toys, loves to sit on something, snatches my blanket and etc. He is not those people-people kind of dog. He's afraid of strangers and always love to hide. Always in his own world. 6 years.. 6 years in our family. Came into our family when he's 1yo. Time passes damn fast. I can say, he is the dog that has seen me through my ups and down. Went through everything with me. And.. I can slowly see he is aging. :( I dislike the fact but what can I do? I love him a lot. More than anything.

Personal thoughts

I always wonder what is the feeling after death. Can you still feel the touch and all the other senses? Or is it like many other movies where the soul will just linger around and watching the family mourning over it? Have you guys ever thought of it? Or is it when you're dead, all memories will be gone and you just vanish into thin air? There will no longer be you or another you.

Sometimes, I can't wait to accomplish everything that I intend to, fast. I will never know when my life is gonna stop right there. Take marriage for example(not now, maybe 26/27/28?). I really wanted to get married and start my little family with someone special(not aiming at any particular person). I wanna design my own house, have my own queen/king size bed with the special someone sleeping beside me, making breakfast early in the morning for my family.. Just like the one I created virtually in The Sims.. Everything is so perfect. What if I die before my ideal age of getting married?

You know, people always say "the more you think about the death", the sooner you will be gone. True? I don't know.

What if one day I'm gone?

What if I am down with an incurable illness that will just slowly take my life away?

For now, I will live my life with no regrets. Do the things I like as much as possible. Try as much things as possible. No limits. Then when I die young, I will have no regrets. As least I tried to accomplish as many things as possible before my deathbed. Hahahaha!

Anyway something to be happy for! I am satisfied with my results this semester! My GPA improved and all the subjects improved! Thought I will do badly this semester. My effort really paid off. I studied till I almost went crazy. I will put in more effort in Year 2. Consistently of doing tutorials, listen in lectures and don't skip classes! Hahahaha!

An egg of an egg.

16th March'11

Hatched at Evans Rd with babe! 

Smoked salmon with poached egg. Babe's!

Smoked salmon with scrambled egg over toasted bread. Mine!

Price is reasonable, food is good. 

But...

You gotta pay for the distance travelled there. Very ulu and out of place.

Located at nice deserted building. 

To City Plaza aftermath. Means and ways to get there and tadah~

Reached. Best of the best.

Happy egg partners!

Eyes super fake. Dislike my new contacts. So not natural. I preferred cyber color. :(

But.. Cyber color lenses not as soft as Bausch's. 

Why girls so troublesome! 

Anyway, 2nd and 3rd picture so not look like me! 

That 2 pictures like chio leh. I real life not so chio one. 

Trying to smile WITH teeth as much as possible. 

:) -> :D

YAY!

<3

Happy

Ben passed his class 3 license with only 8 points! Congrats my boy! So proud of him. If he didn't beat the red lights, he would have passed it with 0 points lor! 

Nevertheless, I'm so proud of him! 

Anyway, me on my diet plan. Been eating very little these days. So not me.

I really need to slim down. 

Gonna down myself with lots of water.

Having a date with babe on Wed. Can't wait.

Lumnua that's what you called it.

So... I decided to change my blogskin. Sick and tired of the previous one.

And we decided to have fish manhattan for our lunch in the noon. Their deep fried button mush is really really good. Especially the sauce. Bought a book to read, "A Friend Like Henry". I know that I'm gonna cry while reading it but still.. I bought it. Damn.. Why no self control?! I'm a sucker for animal stories. Marley and Me made me cried for 2 consecutive days.. And now! Sigh. I should really kick this habit away and buy some happily ever after books to read. Always reading this tragic death books, not really good for health eh? I'm already on chapter 3 in less than 20 minutes.. Being the very kpo want to faster know the ending kind of person, I went to the last chapter and scan through. Ya, the dog passed on in the end. Knew it! Why can't they just stop where the family live happily ever after together with the dog! Anyway, its a true story of an autistic boy and his dog.

Boyboy always stick out his tongue when he's asleep. Feel like squeezing him!! &^@^@&*^#^@ Why so cute!!

Heavy Rain-ed together with Ben in the evening. Kept scolding each other during the game. Really pek cek sometimes when seeing him control the character. Like stupid only.

I can't sleep.

Don't dare go toilet.

I will do my best..

It really hurts me to see these animals suffering so much. Being skinny and scrawny, no food, no love, abandon and tortured mentally.

What can I do? I really wanna help. But I dare not help at the shelter because I'm afraid I cannot take it. Not say physically and the hardships.. I'm afraid I'll break down seeing these animals suffering.

I'm gonna cross my heart and swear that I will donate part of my monthly pay to these shelters.. They can have my word. I promise.

If one day.. God can do something. Please save these animals who needed help so much.

Just a side note. I detest people who spend thousands and hundreds buying branded stuffs. Why not donate it to these animal shelters? They needed it more than you do. But.. On the other hand.. If people don't spend it on branded stuffs, I think.. These atas brands will close down sia.

Hate this.

Gonna earn big bucks.

Serenity; Sis hearts

Serenity Spanish bar with Sis last Friday. It was an awesome catch up. Food was good, ambience is superb and what's more? Company was great! Since she seldom come back and is now staying over at her friend's house, talking to her is at its minimum. And haha, she owe me this meal! :P 

We talked a lot. About everything. And no words can describe how I love her. 

Now, for the food. Like I said, its good. Had paella, seafood tomato soup and meatballs! 

And I've been watching Lie to Me lately. Heard it during CNY from my cousins that it is very nice! So decided to watch it and no doubt, it is fucking awesome. Even Ben (who don't usually watch dramas) is watching it now too! Trust me, it is really good and the british actor is so charming. He is not those pretty boy face but I just find him charming. Hahahahahaha! Anyway, my 2 top list for dramas now is Lie to Me and Modern Family. Whenever I watch Modern Fam I will always laugh my ass off la! Especially the gay parents! Hahahahaha! 

Okay~ Me gonna cook maggi now and then continue my drama! 

Stressed

I'm feeling rather stress lately. Things hasn't been going in well with my boyboy. I just sense that something is very wrong with him. I don't know why. I just got a feeling that he is leaving me soon. I don't know why I feel this way but I just do. Sigh. And I prayed so hard for it but nothing happen. Why? I know I shouldn't doubt but I had enough of it. The people... I don't wish to condemn but I just feel that thy are kinda forceful. If you think that is the way by making such contributions, I am speechless. Everyone had the rights to choose what kind of contributions they wanna contribute.. But no, I am NOT given a choices of contributions. Just given one and expected me to do it.. What is this? I don't get it. I am starting to lose faith.. Really. And I don't get it by I've been receiving and not contributing? I seriously don't get it. Can someone enlighten me?

Seriously.. If this continues.. I'm afraid I'm leaving everything and leaving you. Sometimes adults' comments doesn't make any fucking sense at all. It's getting too staunch here and I hate it. Blame who? Me? You? Or the people?

Now my top priority is how to survive and my boyboy. Nothing else matter anymore. Not even you.

Cahlee Lice

I miss my boyboy so much. 

Look this at this person behind me. Sleeping like a dead log. Leaving me alone!

Humph. 

2am liao. How?

I want my boyboy to sleep beside me. 

And the worst thing is, I sense that something is wrong. 

Blah~ 

Gems may be precious, but friendship is priceless.

This is the first time ever after so long that both of us took pictures just hours ago. 

She's my "ex-colleague", my bestie and my confidant. 

All 3 in 1 that one will.. Well.. Most probably can't find. 

Everytime when she hears my non stop complains, she will laugh it off and then agree with me.

Well, there are times when she disagrees with me and then follow by her hmmmm.. distinct kind of vulgars that both of us shared. 

I am so happy that the both of us got even closer than before. 

Somehow, we got this connection that both of us can't really figure out.

All I can say is I am really grateful for everything now. 

Life is really great some times when you see it at another point of view. 

Although not much friends but just a few ones who really understand and treasure you is all a person ever need. 

I am really beginning to love my life that I am leading now.

A balance of everything.

All I want is everyone around me to be happy now.

Love.

Boyfie.

Although it is gonna be the 6th year that we have been dating...

I am still super eager to meet him.

I will still laugh at every joke he made although it is damn effing lame.

I am willing to do anything just to make him happy.

I am still very much in love with him.

I am super duper happy and lucky to be with him.

Haha, getting all mushy bushy.

It has been so long.. Totally know him inside out, outside in. 

I still remember, back then, everybody bet that Ben and I will not last at all. Because everyone portray him as as a playboy. Guess he prove you guys damn fucking wrong. Although there were some wrongdoings back then, but it was forgiveness that made everything happened till now. 

Lovelove.

Sudden

I'm just bored and I don't feel like sleeping at all.

Skin is not hydrated and its peeling. :( I really do have a love hate relationship towards Oxy. Know why? Cuz its making my skin dry and yet it cures pimple fast. I always use oxy and apply thinly all over my face for prevention. But look what its doing to me everytime I did that. Dry and flaky skin. :(

Anyway, I really do not wish to work for the hols right now but I did tried searching for clinic assistant jobs but nothing interest me and whats more they needed perm staffs. So bloody unfair. Admin jobs? Nah. Retail? BIG NO. Fuck, I won't ever work in retail line. But there are circumstances that I will consider when it is a shop on its on with only maximum 3 staffs and there are seats for the staffs and the traffic is at its minimum and pay is high. HAHAHAHA! Never will there be such retail shops la. That is why, retail - nah! So... Decided not to work for the time being. Moreover, Ben is working! Hahahahahah! And he has this little pay increment. :P Enough for both of us la. Me is a very easy to feed and love girlfriend. No need eat restaurant and branded items one. LOL!

Speaking of that, why ah? Why do girls always want their boyfriend to buy branded items for them? Very sart ki meh? Please, you want something, work for it. Why ask others to buy you such expensive stuffs? Because you cannot afford? Then don't buy/carry! You know, when you're not up to carry such branded stuffs, means you're not! Try so hard also no use, just look fake on you. Wait till you work and get your first branded item. That, people will be impressed. In short, some people are just not capable of carrying/buying such stuffs and ended up devaluing such items because it just doesn't suit them.

Wait...

Why so bitchy today? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Just my thoughts.