As calm as water.

You know what? I hate people bullying my close ones. I hate seeing them going through what I've gone through few years back. It is regardless of what situations they are in. I've been through fucking many difficult situations for the past years and I jolly well know how they are feeling.

Sigh.

But what can I do? NOTHING.

If it was me few years back, I would have given hell to that person. But I chose not to now because, I strongly believe in Karma. And I realise, as I gradually grow up, I become more mature. I handle situations well. I control my anger. If it was me few years back, I would have flare up and maybe some physical actions done.

But still, I must admit that I still get annoyed very easily. This is something that I should change, 'Nothing can annoy me'. I reckon, its still a long way to go.

Anyways, Tiff, be strong okay. Remember, nothing can bring you down except yourself. If you allow the situation to take control of you, things will turn out negatively. AND, if you take control of the situation, the outcome will be what you desired for. No need to feel upset about what that bitch says. You know, bitches never shut up and they NEVER WILL FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE. You either live with it OR ignore it. See, you've got a choice! If you take things calmly and not retaliate, people will see it. People around you will definitely definitely see it. And you wouldn't wanna live with her remarks that affects you every now and then for the next 3 years right?

So why not, live happily, be happy and still be happy everyday. Cos you know, we love you and always will. :)

Wedding bands!

OMG! I super duper love this wedding band from Cartier! Superrrr chio right right!

Guess its gonna cost a bomb. :( Provided that my future husband super rich la! Sigh.

OMG! 

 

Tiffany got a similar one! 

OMGAHHHHHHHHH~

Super chio and nice.

Cartier or Tiff?!?!

LOL!

Sound as if I'm getting married. Jen, wait long la! =.=

Chocs for me!

I'm gonna indulge in these while I'm studying for my Microecons later! Can't live without chocolates when I'm studying. I know, my diet plan totally ruined. :( But whatever! I need these chocs!!

Guess who bought me these?! Hee!

BEN!

Look how happy I am! Heeeeeeeh! He specifically came down to my place to pass me these chocolates he bought from 7-Eleven!

I guess today is gonna be a super productive day. I plan my day ahead already! 

Okay, I'm very very hungry now now now! I want fooooooood! 

BYE BYE BYE!

Fuck you.

This is for you, Bitch.

I've been pondering if I should write this post. Maybe I should.. To show how much I am affected and what a big time Bitch you are. 

We've never talked nor been friends, why add me on facebook? Cunning much. 

Yes, I lost. I lost for being affected so much by such low down doings from you which isn't worth me being affected for. But I'm glad to say that it is only just for a day. So so so glad. 

Oh, I'm sorry to tell you that life has been great for me these years and will forever be. :) *smiles widely* Whereas you, I reckon you go find a job and start loving your life rather than sleeping with guys here and there. And you know what? Nobody ever loved you because you did not love yourself in the first place. Sigh.

Oh! And I guess you should stop being a busybody because everyone knows that my life is definitely better than yours. :) Please go do something productive and use your beauty for some good purposes. 

Remember, being pretty is not everything, it is your heart that counts. Too bad, you stink inside out.

First virgin trip to JB!

Was an impromptu decision made on Friday.

The company is good and yeah, I went with my Bro & Sis! 

None of us had any idea how to get to City Square! We just followed the crowd and yup! We eventually arrived at City Square. =.= LOL!
Anyways, their Mango outlet there sell very nice clothings!! Spent almost an hour at Mango searching for nice tops that suit me! And wow, their pencil case is very nice!!! Hoho!
Saw many many wedges that me like! Wanted to get it for clubbing though. But dropped the idea.
Spent so much time walking around.
Eat nice nice food. All other pictures are on FB.

Goodnight.

So in love with muse.

I love how MUSE uniquely play their music.
Their song 'Feeling Good' is wayyy better than Michael Buble's! Sorry Michael Buble fans, you gotta accept the fact because MUSE play really good music.
Although their music vids are really creepy, but its still as good! Thumbs up for that!!
It really a-muse me!
Plug in your headphones and listen to good music manz.
Good music = makes you alive.

I think I grow fat again! Damn it. Gotta start losing weight again. Really can't resist nice food. :(
Had rojak and tau huay after my dindin just now! So fucking fattening. BUT the tau huay is  from Selegie!! How can miss their tau huay man!

Ben is going to NS really soon. And fuck it! ICA's are all coming near end May. Means I can't really spend much time with him. :( Sad manz.

When break gets too long..

I sho chioz nehzxs.

Very hectic.

I saw death today.
Eyes wide opened and was in shock.
Somebody whom I've never met before and probably not know him for the rest of life committed suicide and I was there, at the spot.
I stood there alone for a mere 30 seconds and finally came to my senses and called Ben.
Hands dripping wet and having cold sweat.

And, just beside where the body lay motionless, I saw his family members.
Weeping uncontrollably. Some, cried their lungs out.
Paramedics came minutes later and pronounce him dead right on the spot.
No use. No turning back. Nothing will change. Never to see him standing again. Never...
It was so..... heart wrenching.
Am, still is feeling uneasy and that scene kept replaying on my mind.

All I wanna say is.. Cherish your love ones before its too late.

***

I really do like this song.

I want the old you back. 

Environment changes, people changes. Keep changing to keep up with everything.

I'm an angry woman this week. I feel its no longer the same anymore.

Why?

Why is this happening? 

I hate how insensitive you are towards how I feel. 

Probably, its time...

Something called emotions.

I’m sitting on the bed, with my notebook on my lap. Not forgetting, pressing the bolster onto my abdomen to ease the cramps. Yes. You’re right, not again. I am having this cramp since the day I started this god damn period. It will always be a torturous first day for me. And now, as I grew older, it is no longer just cramps, it is now accompanied by backaches, nauseating and loss of appetite. See, growing up killz.

I am feeling very restless today.

What’s more?

Ben and I nearly ended our 5 years relationship. It was so.... I don’t know.

All I knew was I was damn bloody moody and angry with things around me. Nothing is going right for me this week. In fact, ever since I started Poly. Everyday, every single day I feel this anxiety. There’s so many “What ifs” on my mind. & I am fucking worried that I will not be able to do well in Poly. The system is so different from ITE and your English have to be good to write beautiful answers. This suck. I’m definitely at the losing end. Sigh.

And then again. I’m feeling super duper no life. I’ve been spending 2 weekends at home. MIND YOU, 2 fucking weekends which I usually will be either staying over at Ben’s place or having some fun. It has been so damn long that I went shisha. It has been so damn long that I’m out till late night. It has been so damn long that I chilled with my friends. So damn bloody fucking long. Cooping at home looking through those tutorials and lecture notes makes me bonkers. Yeah, you may say that I’m a geek. But I tell you, I feel that it is MY responsibility to finish up the tutorials and whatnots. I am not smart and I need time to fucking digest these notes bit by bit. So unfair!!

On a happier note, ............. better!

YAY!

YOU ROCK BABEH~

I wanna hug Ben tight tight love him long long and kiss him wet wetzzz. 

If we can be like kids again.

How I wish that I can turn back time. No worries, no nothing.

I must admit, I hate growing up and going through so much shits in life. I can say, the shits in life I've been through no one can fight me over with. Although, things are slowly getting better in a way or two. But, who can really predict the future? Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be the worst day of your life. Or even, the best day of your life. Tell me if you can read the future, I wanna know mine. I don't mind shortening my life by 10 or 20. I hate playing this role in life and neither can I take it anymore. I hate playing the role as a student, daughter, sister, friend and girlfriend. Okay.. Wait a minute, I don't mind playing the role as a girlfriend at all.  It is always Ben helping/doting/loving me. Haha. & it was how cutesy funny that both of us watched each other grow up into what we are now. Him, enlisting in NS soon and me, Poly life.

Anyways, growing up suckz.

I'm feeling tired and I can't fucking balance my account. Shitz.

I just feel like blogging.

Ooooh sway hair sway. Cmon.

I feel like cutting my hair again! Woooyeahhh! 

Finally met Ben today. After 5 days of not meeting. SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM OKAYZZ. The most happy thing is.. He did not make me wait. Anyways, had quarter pounder for lunch. Suckz. The patty is so dry! Not even a bit of juiciness man. So, DON'T TRY IT! Mac kept advertising it over and over again on the tv. Don't ever be deceived okay!

Swimming next Friday with Ben! Teeeheeeeheeeee! Can't wait. 

I need to sleep. I am not obliged to do this. I've sent you a reminder. Dickhead.

I need some menthol.

I need some puff.

I'm trying to quit! I really do. For the sake of better complexion and the hefty expenses. It has been 3 days since I last touched it. I cannot tahan anymore. I'm throwing my temper and I feel so pek cek!!

AHHHH FUCK!

I'm sorry I lied. Please forgive me. I'm no bad person. :( :( :(

Boyfriend

Missing him so so soooooo much! Gotta wait till Wednesday before I can meet him again. :( 

I guess I can cope with the tutorials pretty well. Not say very good but after reading the lecture notes, I can manage to relate it to the question. Well, hope tomorrow's tutorials will help me to have a better understanding! 

Argh... WTF! I don't understand why am I talking about tutorials and lectures these days! Whole mind is full of this. SUPER NO LIFE. FML!

I hate this shitty no life kind of thing. HATE IT MANZ. 

We're different!

Click to enlarge!

Today is the 2nd of May! Which means... It's my dearest sister birthday! *throws confetti in the air* Last month has been a very emotional month for her. So, I hope this month will be a very fruitful, happy and free from worries month for her! /hearts Happy Birthday dearest Sis. Love you many!

Will be having a simple celebration later in the evening. Bro's gonna drive us to Geylang for dim sum later!! YAY! Heard that their dim sum is superb there! Can't wait. Gonna skip lunch so that can eat more later! Hehehe! Can't wait to eat siew mai, har gao, zhu chang fen and so on! Teeeeheeeee!

Pictures taken last night when we went Partyworld with Bro! Partyworld pics will be up next!

Anyhoos..

It was Bennifer's 4 years 8 months Anniversary yesterday. It's always the every first day of the month. I think the both of us had totally forgotten about it. =S It was always the yearly anni that we're looking forward to.

1 month more and Ben is gonna be enlisting soon. So fast! :( Feeling a little sad but yeah.. I know this is inevitable. Well, I'm sure the both of us will be able to pull through this NS shit. :)

Oh! Did I even mention about school? 2 words: It suck. I'm still struggling to adjust into this new environment. :( Moreover, it's really tiring to carry the laptop to school with such thick lecture notes. Needless to say, I don't even understand a single shit what the lecturer taught. BUT! That's what tutorials are for! Clarify! So now, I understand already! Mad happy and it really made me put my mind at ease. I was so worried lor!! 

Lurb.