It has been about a month that I'm being single...
I can't particularly say that I like it. Imagine, I've been attached for 6 years and suddenly everything is gone. It's something that I'm trying very hard to adjust myself to. Although I might appear to be happy, moving on with life pretty well and whatnot but I'm struggling to sleep every night.. Going home extremely late, partying although there's school the next day to make myself fucking tired so I won't think of anything in between has officially make me sick for a week.
I don't know why am I harming my body this way. But it just feels so fucking good to know that my mind and body is tired and it wouldn't be such a chore to sleep in the night. Feels so fucking great.. Now my body has weakened and I can't afford to party anymore, my mind started running wild.
Just last night when I'm home from the reunion dinner, I feel so empty. Why am I walking alone? Where is my other half? Why is it there's no one holding my hand anymore? Why am I not reporting to anyone about me going home anymore? Why? What the fuck happened? It was then I came to realise that yes, I'm single now. I'm all alone. All fucking alone. There's no one for me to call when I'm on my way home when the road home is so dark. I feel so scared but there's no one for me to call or reach out to.
I miss being loved, hugged and what a couple does. It's all gone. All gone..
I know that I cannot turn back time anymore. I know that the decision made was a final one. I just have to move on and be happy.
I miss being a couple. I miss the feeling. The emptiness is kicking in and I'm feeling so terrible. So fucking terrible.... :'(