How many people actually still do come to this space? I bet there's none?

No one can understand how I feel. Tell me, who can see the change in me? None I guess. People always portray me to be grumpy, fierce and unfriendly. But I am none of these now. Who knows? None. I am willing to compromise what I think is for the better for everyone. But it seems that no one actually give a damn about it. I really wonder why did I change so much over the years.. Sometimes I just wished that none of those shits happened and I can be me. I don't worry about anything in the past & I say what I like. Now.. I have to think of words to say because I'm afraid some may not like it. I care.. I care for everyone.. I treasure.. I treasure every single one of you around me. But.. Who actually feel the same way as I do? Again, none?

It is not that I wanna shut myself out from everyone. I always feel safe in my nutshell. Always..

This week is such a bad week. I feel hurt, sad, angry and useless. Nothing seems to be in place. I've lost someone and soon another one.. Do they even know the hurt they caused? It was so unbearable.. I shiver in fear everytime I think of it.

I need hugs or just a pat..

Who is willing to give me free hugs? I will gladly accept it. Can I say thank you in advance first?