愛一個人好難

Freaking old school but it totally explain how I'm feeling. 

I'm sorry

Sigh, you made me so effin' guilty.

The things you said really did affect me a little.

I'm sorry for making you feel that I'm cold towards you. I really don't mean it that way.
I wanna keep the gossips or comments as minimal as possible. I don't like people to know what's happening in my life except for people who are really close to me. That is why sometimes, I'll just walk away let alone saying hi to you.

I know you're really nice to me. Like really really nice. I really appreciate this nice gesture from you. The text you sent me really made me feel really guilty.

And thank you so much for the chocs. Thank you.

Stop crying your heart out

Do me a favor, if I die of an early age, please lay me in a bed of roses.

接受

不成熟的是我。
想太多的也是我。
全部都是我。
怎麽办？

是时候该放弃了。
这样拖拖拉拉，到底是为了什么？
不知道你在想什麽，也不想再玩这个游戏了。
我累了。

就只好接受这一切，勇敢的向前走。

希望你幸福。

3rd month

Work was extremely hectic for me these days.
I've been rushing here and there for the whole week.
I know I'm crazy to do this... I'm holding two jobs at the same time.
Gotta plan my time really wisely just so that I've got enough time for myself.

Anyway, 3 months zoomed by in a blink of an eye.
How time pass.. I'm still single. :)
When people came to know that I've ended the relationship, everyone was like telling me, you will definitely get into another relationship soon.
Seriously, you guys are so wrong!
Look at me now, still going on strong and being happily single.
Of course, I miss those times where I can confide and have a person right beside me 24/7 but that doesn't mean I need one to survive.
Frankly speaking, the emptiness in me is definitely inevitable.
Who wouldn't love to be loved, cared and hugged?

Probably I'll be single for the rest of my life. Who knows?
Good guys these days are difficult to come by.

A game

Don't lead me on anymore. :( I really cannot take these shits anymore.

Please, leave or stop texting me if you don't really mean it.
I don't like these mind games with you.
& I can't afford to get my heart broken again.
I had a hard time getting myself out of these shits..
Don't make me fall into the pit hole again. :(

我真的快受不了了。

Guns n' Roses

MUAHAHAHAHA. I've got no idea why am I so happy these days.
And I photo spam a lot. Like really a lot. I need to maintain!
Hahahahahaha!

And I kept eating chocolates today.
From maltesers to kinder bueno to M&S choc digestive biscuits to kit kat.
Oh my gah~ Just kill me.
I think it was probably cuz my mense is coming and it is really torturing me.
Gotta stuff myself with happy food to brighten up my mood.

OMG & I had tau huay today. Extra fattening.

Oh yeah, and I hope my mood remains like that.
And things to keep me occupied is so important.
Cuz I wouldn't think of anything most importantly, I wouldn't do anything stupid.

最近

This song meant so much.
Probably the song that will make me cry.

tye dye

Supposed to head down to Aquanova today.
Plans got cancelled.

Work suck very much. Have to always change out of my uniform to smoke.
Cutting papers till I fucking fell asleep. THAT BAD. Omg.
Luckily no work tomorrow. If not I'm gonna kill myself for not resting enough.

Sigh. I don't know where am I standing at right now.
Its like neither here nor there.
Sometimes, you really made me feel that you need me so much.
Telling me everything and reporting to me when you're home.
Sometimes, you just left me hanging there without knowing to text or not.
This coldness was something that I didn't expect.
Oh well.. Shouldn't even be thinking that much.

Just need to be happy.

What is lost, is what you gonna gain.

Although I've lost something that has been with me for 6 years, I gained many things in return.

Friends, best friends, my darlings.

All that I have now is what I've always wanted.

So thankful for them.

Speechless

I'm too tired to feel anything anymore. Let's just end this once and for all. I don't need you and you don't need me. Fair and square. If we're meant to be, it will be. But now, I lost all hope. It doesn't seems that we're meant to be anymore. It's so fucking depressing to know that you changed. And you, stooping to that level to actually contact her really disgust me. Probably after 3 months, I've seen your true colours.

In just a short period of time, how much you changed, you yourself know it best.

Don't mean to bitch. But what I'm saying is the truth. And I can bet with my life that those girls are just cheap. You're just simply ruining your own life and don't you dare blame it on me. Cuz you wanted it and you made it happened. And its not because of the break up that you flunk your studies. That's just an excuse. It's because you met her on that very day.

I'm tired of holding on. Gonna let go and be happy.

Virgin manicure + headband

Vivo with Sis.
Had dim sum, beef noodle and stir fry veggie with tofu for lunch cum dinner at Bosses.
Had my first time ever manicure today. Happy girl 90.
Max brenner for dessert my treat to Sis.

Simply love her max. Both of us went crazy taking photos today. Hahahahaha! Kept laughing and bitching about nonsensical stuffs. I bet we are the closest sisters ever. Heee. <3 <3 <3

I think I look good with hairband/headband. Gonna invest more on it. Diva here I comeeee!!!

Awkward

I don't know what to say.

It's just so fucking upsetting that you're behaving this way.

I would never have thought this day would come. 

It came.

Anyway, I'm still me.

Who changed?

Me or you?

Everyone wants to know what love is.

Everyone is just waiting for the right one to show them what love is.

Waiting takes time, and finding the right one takes a lot of patience and longer time too.
So no rush.
Time will eventually show you who you're loving is worth your everything.

Funny shit

SO FUNNY HAHAHAHA BTH. OMG!!!

Dear Jen

Dear Jen,

sometimes you gotta understand that there are more things for you to worry about. Although all these are just a part of your life, but it's not gonna be for a longrun. Why are you doing all these to destroy yourself bit by bit? And why the fuck would you let others' comments affect you so much when you jolly well knew that you're not that kinda person? Why? You're a strong girl who has gone through so much in life. All these are just some pea sized problems that can be solved with a blink of an eye. I believe you will be better tomorrow. You always felt better the next day. So what are these to you? So stop thinking too much because it is fucking getting you nowhere. Moreover, your life is just at its peak.. Why make yourself to be at the bottom again? It isn't worth it.

You gotta understand. The life you want it to be every single day will not be fulfilled everytime. Cuz you jolly well knew that people has to take in shits to make them grow. So now Jen, you're taking in shits yourself to make yourself even stronger. That's good.

So get up again and say FUCK YEAH.

Sincerely,

Jen.

Babyboy love.

Happy together. 7 years and counting. 

<3 <3

Being filial

Super broke last month. Literally squeezed/scrimped and saved every single cent to survive that month. Sigh. Clubbing and drinking has been really making me super broke. Used to go ladies night and free drink coupons was always given.

Anyway that aside, NATAS fair at Expo has officially made me really sick this time. Not enough sleep plus tiredness every single day made me kena this stupid fever, flu and cough virus. Been a week already. :( It's okay. Gotta eat the vits my bro bought for me. Hahahaha.

And I've not been spending time with my parents. I fucking neglected them and like what? I didn't see or talk to them for almost a week already.. If you allow me to accumulate, it has been more than a month that we hold a proper conversation. I feel bad. Like you know as a daughter spending time with your parents is a must. A MUST. I've been so close to them last year. Chilling in their room, cracking jokes and whatnot. It's so different now.

Sigh.

I admit I changed. But somehow, I don't know what did I exactly changed into.