I know its too early to pen down my thoughts now cuz it isn't the end of 2012 yet. But I just have this very strong urge to pen these these thoughts that's running through my mind now. I know it's only halfway through 2012 but still, I wanna post it up.
I didn't start my 2012 well though. I ended a 6 years relationship and just finally gotten over it about 2 months ago. It was a clean break up for the both of us. Which is something good I guess? All is good now, I guess for him too? Haha, I know you read my blog! Hope you're doing well!! :)
Haha, I'm stuck in writing..
Hmmmm...
Anyway, let me just shorten it and write about what happened recently?
I guess I just lost a once considered very good friend? Yeah, I think so. I don't know how I should go about saying it here but I guess things didn't ended well because the other party was kinda unwilling to? I don't know. I guess everyone blames me for whatever that had happened and caused this friendship to turn sour. But you know what, it wasn't entirely my fault. For things to happen, you need two hands to clap. Right? And I know everyone had been hearing stories about me and they dislike me now.
I don't blame because I just feel that they aren't of any importance to me at all, so why should I bother? Saying that I ain't affected by these people's sayings isn't entirely true. But I guess I gotta accept their comments cuz I've got nothing to hide. I don't need to explain myself that's why I'm not talking to anyone about it. If you were to ask me, I'll say. If not, why should I even bother clearing the mess and proving myself that I'm innocent that others have gotten me? The more I wanna prove, the more people will think that I did something wrong. And these misunderstandings or negative perception about me will get worst.
At first, all I thought was about misunderstandings but as time pass gradually, I guess it ain't anymore? What I felt was that you developed the hatred for me for something I never did. Maybe you might think that I'm bullshitting and I just want people to sympathize me.. Why would I even want to do that? If you're talking about understanding, then lets just forget about it. No point saying that I don't understand you or you don't understand me. We both don't understand each other at all.
And I know you're a person who loves to win? Then I'll let you win gloriously. You won, not because I admitted all of my doings, that's just cuz you don't matter to me anymore and giving in to everything you said or did doesn't concern me at all from now on. You won, because I'm tired of everything. You won, because I'm so sick of hearing the stories about me over and over again from others.
Since things has already turned so sour and nothing can be done, I'm just gonna end this thing. I ain't gonna wish you the best of luck because I'm not that magnanimous to wish someone who tries to break things up in my life and I strongly think that you don't deserve my blessings. I guess you don't want my blessings too. Haha.
All I need to say is I've seen through you. After a month of dumb hopes thinking it will turn out well.. I simply just made a joke out of myself. I blame myself for the stupidity. And I don't blame you for saying things about me because the mouth is yours and don't worry I ain't gonna talk shits about you like you do.
I guess, my main focus now is to be happy and get my diploma. And I made the right choice in ending everything! :)