Smoke

Smoking is good.

Dote

Drinks last night with these awezomes people. Especially Kumz, always will be there for me no matter what. And he really try his best to make time for me even if I gave him last minute notice that I wanna meet up. The words by them are so encouraging sometimes that I can't describe how much I love them. Felt so loved every time when I meet them. Haha cuz they will just shower me with lots of love. Well, at least I feel love. Hehe. 

Anyway, am happy that KK met Kumz and Kumz met KK. At least they had something in common and we sat down and chatted about hell lots of stuffs till around 5 in the morn. 

You know, sometimes I really don't understand why am I always complaining to others about my life. Now when I look back, I guess I'm really lucky to have these people around me. I know they are the people with just a call and they will listen to me rant or maybe head down to find me.  

And there's this special someone whom I am really really grateful and appreciative for. <3 Although it was a rocky start but I guess it's gonna get better. He proved it to me and I see his effort in making me happy. 

Really thankful and contented with my life now. 

Count your blessings

I was wondering if I should really voice out my thoughts.. It took me a lot of courage to actually want to tell you guys how I feel. But looking at the circumstances now, it seems like no one cares.

Probably I am the one who drift myself apart. I don't feel the closeness anymore. I feel that I'm left alone and people just want to watch the dramas in my life, laughed it off and walk away. It really saddens me to see myself feeling this way. I stood up for everyone whom are dear to me, but look, who stood up for me?

I am not trying to say who put in more effort but I really did try my best to bring the closeness back. I feel rejected.

That's all I wanted to say.

I'm tired.

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就知道

就知道你最疼我了。

Sometimes, I'm wondering am I really doing the right thing. I just feel that if I were to make a decision, it will affect everyone.

Where are our morals? Where? The older you get, the more fucked up you become. That's true.

So I guess, what is more important now is to be happy and not put much thoughts into it.

I'm tired. Really tired. So tired mentally and physically.

I wanted to share but I don't know how to. I've been on a roller coaster ride these days and I really couldn't take it anymore.

One moment I'm happy and the other moment I'm really sad and depressed. I blamed myself for whatever is happening. The cold wars, the arguments... And I'm so afraid to be losing a friend like you that I feel so lost and empty headed wherever I go. I don't feel happy at all. I try to put these thoughts behind me but I just can't.

Some times I wonder, if I didn't come into the picture will things be happier for everyone of us?

No one to talk to about these shits.. No one.

I guess leaving is the best thing to bring the happiness back to everyone.